Author Archives: mindeeball

Fantastic Friday Favorites

Posted in Friday Faves by

Took a few weeks off from FFF. During the break, I traveled to Italy and fell in love with Rome. Naturally, I had to add it to my FFF list. So, here goes…

  • Rome, Italy

One of my new favorite cities. Seeing the historical sights was truly amazing. These places I learned about in school and have seen in the movies were extremely impressive up close. Of course, the Colosseum was remarkable. I was hoping to run into Russell Crowe. No luck. It’s hard to narrow down a single favorite part of the trip, but I think the most emotional moment was seeing the Sistine Chapel. One of those moments that is difficult to put into words, but seeing the one and only Sistine Chapel blew my mind.

trevicoliseum

Another of my favorites from the journey was the food. Without a doubt, the best food I’ve ever had. I ate bread, olive oil, cheese, pasta, roasted vegetables…and so much more. The Italian food in America isn’t true Italian food. I know that now. I thoroughly enjoyed the pizza; however, I am a huge fan of sauce and cheese on pizza (my strong American influences) and these are simply not found on true pizza. Still delicious!

I really do!

I really do!

Rome is definitely a city worth seeing. Although, I could do without the guys selling junk on the streets. That was the worst part. They’re everywhere and are always in your face. It’s best to just ignore them or you’ll be saying “No thank you” dozens of times an hour.

The atmosphere was also one of my favorite parts of the city. Maybe it’s where we stayed, but it was just people walking around, eating, talking, having a good time. Nothing too crazy or loud. I could go on and on about the trip. But, that’s for a later time.

  • Instagram

I cannot stay off this app. I check it more than I check Facebook. I find myself taking photos just to post to Instagram. I love it. It allows me to be an artsy photographer without having to wear the black combat boots. I do wish there were more filters, but I’m sure that will come with time. I post everything from photos of my nail polish to nature pics, from food to pics of my clothing. It’s a real problem, but I don’t want to solve it just yet. I’m a hashtag junkie, too. #itstrue

  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer

So, I get on these “kicks” where I obsess over things for weeks at a time, typically movies or tv shows. At the moment I am in a perpetual state of watching Buffy episodes. Can’t help it. Maybe it’s my way of feeling like I’m closer to home. Season 4 is my favorite, so I’m constantly reliving Buffy’s freshman year in college. After I’ve watched the episodes enough times, I really feel like Buffy and Willow are MY friends. I think they know me. For fear of sounding crazy, I guess I could leave that last part out, but a true BFF would never deny a deep friendship.

No, the show isn’t great. And most of the time it’s quite ridiculous. I realize that. Does that sway my opinion? No. Never will.

Buffy Season 4

Buffy Season  4

Fantastic Friday Favorites

Posted in beauty, Friday Faves by

So, this week I am obsessing over a few things that aren’t necessarily new to me, but have kept me quite interested and occupied.

For starters, Candy Crush Saga. What can I say? I cannot stop playing. I knew I would love this game largely due to my previous obsession with Bejeweled Blitz. CCS is Bejeweled Blitz on steroids. I wake up in the middle of the night to check if I have any new lives so I can play; I request lives constantly from my Facebook friends; I google tips and tricks for beating certain levels; I get insanely frustrated at least twice a day! This game has completely taken over my life (embarrassingly).

Screenshot_2013-04-05-22-08-23

My second obsession at the moment is a Real Techniques makeup brush. These brushes in general are amazing. My personal favorites is the stippling brush. It is the softest brush I’ve ever used and actually look forward to applying my foundation every day. I use it for foundation, liquid blush, NARS multiples…it’s a truly versatile brush. It feels so nice on my skin, the bristles never come off (which I’ve had trouble with in the past from brushes of lesser quality) and they’re quite affordable. I ordered the stippling brush for $10 and the starter set (5 brushes and a case) for $18. I highly, highly recommend these products. My next brush will be the expert face brush.

Real Techniques stippling brush

Real Techniques stippling brush

My final Fantastic Friday Favorite is L’Occitane Honey Hand Cream. This stuff is FABULOUS! It doesn’t, in my opinion, smell too much like honey, but the smell is phenomenal. It is sweet, but not in the sugar cookie too sweet way. It sort of reminds me of a lotion you would use on a baby; it smells a bit more like a baby powder than honey. It feels so nice on my skin and definitely thoroughly moisturizes. It’s a rich formula with a slight greasiness, but I prefer that. However, the greasiness isn’t too overwhelming.  It doesn’t sit on the skin, it actually soaks in and disappears (after a few minutes). It has really been a great addition to my skin routine during this dry, Prague winter! I keep one in my purse and one by my bed.

20130405_224306

 

 

 

Fantastic Friday Favorites

Well, folks. None of you asked and I delivered. I am starting a new series of blogs. FANTASTIC FRIDAY FAVORITES! A random weekly post about things I happen to like at the moment.

Will I follow a strict set of guidelines? Probably not.
Will I keep with one theme? Highly unlikely.
Will I guarantee fantasticness? An emphatic YES!

So, what am I obsessing over at the moment? (Well, for those of you who don’t know me, I have an abnormal, unhealthy addiction to obsessing over things. Yes, an addiction to obsession! Fear not friends, the obsessions do not last long. I am highly interested in something for..maybe a week?!, and then there is something new that I can’t stop talking about. A few of my past obsessions include: balcony gardening, Twilight, knitting and puff paint. None of those really lasted that long. Thank God.)

As for this time in my life, my newest obsessions are nail polish, YouTube makeup tutorials and canned corn. I can’t get enough of any of these three things. Sadly.

Nail polishes have become a slight problem as I tend to only prefer those with the highest price tags. I tell myself almost daily that I am not buying another polish until I finish just ONE bottle from my current collection. If you follow me on Instagram then you know I have not kept this promise. Every single bottle is more than 3/4 full. I figure at least I’m not a smoker. Or a drinker. This is a healthy hobby in my opinion.

My absolute favorite brand at the moment is Illamasqua. Best coverage, best formula, best everything. It is however on the higher end of the price spectrum. Save up. Try it. You won’t be sorry. I’m wearing Jo’Mina at the moment and just looking at it makes me smile. It’s the perfect Spring shade!

Illamasqua Nail Varnish

Illamasqua Nail Varnish

YouTube makeup tutorials. Now these are a true problem. I’m completely obsessed. I don’t even wear that much makeup, but every time I watch a video I promise myself I’m going to try something I learned. I rarely remember. Or I don’t want to take that much time getting ready. I mean, I can always do it later. I really like to sleep, so if I have to get up any earlier than necessary, it’s more than likely not going to happen. Each night, I lie in bed planning my makeup for the next day. It’s going to be absolutely amaze-balls. It’s going to be edgy and eye-catching and…sh!t, I overslept! There’s no time for amazeballs makeup! I have 20 minutes to get out the door and catch my bus that only comes 3 times an hour! Tinted moisturizer and mascara it is. Another day wasted on subpar makeup.

The before and after images of these makeup artists’ creations are just impressive. I know, beauty is only skin deep, and blah blah blah … but some people look amazing after 8lbs of makeup has been strategically placed in the perfect locations and with the absolute best colors. The shiny lips cause me so much envy that I immediately begin shopping online for the wettest, most slippery version of red lip gloss I can find! And then I remember I hate lipstick. I hate anything but lip moisturizer. I’ll probably buy some anyway and then dream about wearing it one day when I have time to really apply it correctly. And then I’ll wipe it off.

My favorite artists on YouTube are Pixiwoo, Kandee Johnson and MissChievous. In that order.

And for the canned corn. There is a brand here in Prague called Bonduelle. I have no idea if it’s a worldwide brand; I know nothing about it. But, I simply cannot get enough of the corn. I eat it right out of the can. It’s amazing. It’s like going on a camping trip every time I pop open a can. And yes, it’s just corn, but there’s something special about it. It is more than likely unicorn poop mixed with fairy dust and then shaken with koala hearts, but I love it! It’s sweet and fresh (ironically from a can) and very similar to eating small bites of love.

Bonduelle Gold ... so yummy!

Bonduelle Gold … so yummy!

So, that’s about it for now. These three things keep me completely occupied and happy! And I will probably NEVER admit to watching a makeup tutorial while simultaneously polishing my nails and eating canned corn. That has never happened.

Jim Morrison said it best…

Posted in Uncategorized by

The recent Supreme Court hearing on gay marriage has sparked more controversy than I’d care to see. People support gay marriage, don’t “believe” in gay marriage, prefer Jesus over homosexuality and a million other excuses…it’s exhausting! What confuses me is why people care so much about what other people can or can’t do. I’ve heard people say that gay marriage will pervert and ruin the union that should be between a man and a woman. I’m sorry, but man and woman are the ones that have perverted marriage. Marriage today is not what God intended. The infidelity, the lying, the children out of wedlock, the Jerry Springer guests who are in love with their mother’s boyfriend, and on and on and on…

I rarely witness an uproar about a cheating husband or wife on Facebook or the Supreme Court. The truth is there are a billion things wrong with marriage now. And we are the ones to blame. People do not take marriage seriously, couples escape the union when times get hard, husbands cheat with their secretary, wives cheat with the pool boy, and any other kinky porn scenario you can think of. They’re common. They’re real. They’re happening in legal marriages.

The main argument I hear in opposition of gay marriage is religion. Which, let’s face it, was also the reason for the 9/11 attacks. Why does religion cause so much destruction? I am guilty of once being an extreme close-minded, straight Republican, Jesus follower that would not even consider hearing another side to an argument. But, being the human that I am and not the robot, I’ve changed over time. I am still a believer and follower of Jesus. I am still a Christian. Sometimes I’m still Republican. According to my beliefs, Jesus loves me and all the creepy, offensive, perverted homosexuals of the world. Have you ever actually met a gay person?? Man, are they wicked! It’s like that time in history when everyone believed black people were created by God to be less than white people. Well, the Bible says slaves should obey their masters! I wonder how many “massa’s” framed Ephesians 6:5 in their homes! Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ. It probably didn’t even have a subtext or apocalyptic meaning either.

Humans are on the right track with this oppression bullshit. It’s gotten us a heck of a long way!

My beliefs are probably different from yours. Maybe they’re similar. Maybe you think I’m going to Hell. Maybe you agree wholeheartedly with everything I believe. Either way, it’s fine with me. There are so many things I used to not “believe” in as a younger version of myself. But, as time marches on and I experience more and more from this life, I realize and learn that everything is ok. The people that fight so hard against the rights of others are the ones that need more time.

I don’t think gay people are doomed to the Lake of Fire to spend eternity in Hell. I don’t think the straight husband that beats his wife will enter the Pearly Gates of Heaven simply for being heterosexual. Everything is relative. If you believe in God, I’m referring to my God…Jesus Christ in the dying-on-the-cross-and-rising-again sense…then you understand and are familiar with the fact that God loves everyone. How do I know? “For the Bible tells me so.” Do you believe God even loves the terrorists that attacked in 2001? He does. There are no exceptions. So, why do you have so many?

I feel like I’m “witnessing” and attempting to spread the word of God here (which is ok, too), but really I’m trying to spread the word of me. Which in fact, comes from God. Because that’s just who I am. Is it weird to claim to be a Christian and support gay marriage? Not to me. Maybe it is to you. But, the point is you don’t have to agree with me. Or anyone else for that matter. God gave everyone free-will. We have the choice to do whatever we like. Is it so hard to just allow people that right? Live and let live? Coexist?

It bothers me when I read stories about a gay teenager being killed. It makes me so sad to realize that one person was thoroughly demolished for simply being who he/she was. (Is anyone else channeling the Holocaust?) There are things I don’t understand or even try to understand because I know I probably won’t be able to. But, that doesn’t mean I rule it out as someone else’s option. For example, I don’t know what it’s like to feel as if I’m in the wrong body. I have no idea what a transgender person goes through. I don’t even understand the path to get to those feelings. My ignorance of the situation doesn’t abolish its existence.

I’m concluding this (probably hypoglycemic) rant with just one thing:
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is.” – Jim Morrison

I’m not even going to edit this blog. I’m just publishing before I chicken out and delete the entire thing. Good luck, world. Love each other. Respect the differences.

Me and Paul on the Adriatic

Posted in travel by

There is something emotional about the ocean. At first, I thought it was only the ocean I’ve seen in the United States. The waves, the loud noise, the water meeting the horizon. Having spent some time on the Mediterranean, I realize it’s not about the magnitude of the waves or the tides. The Adriatic Sea is calm. There are no 10-foot waves, no surfers, not even sand. The sounds of the Adriatic are more like a rushing river or a quiet lake. Surrounded by islands, I am not able to see the ocean meet the horizon. Although I can’t see the magnitude of the sea here in Croatia, I am aware how this quieter body of water is connected to the massive oceans I’ve seen in the past. A certain sense of peace comes with being near the ocean. Something far stronger than a river, lake or pond. It isn’t the presence of a body of water that brings this tranquility. It’s the scale in which the ocean is measured. The way it makes humans feel. The way it makes us feel so small and helpless. It is something we truly cannot control…even if we tried.

Humans have no way of understanding just how large the world beneath us is. And I think because of that, our minds are eased and we simply accept, for one short moment, how small we really are. Water is soothing. Water brings an ironic complexity that stills the spirit and allows us to enjoy the greatness of nature. For me, here in the Adriatic Sea, perhaps it’s the ancient presence of Paul heading for Italy. (Acts 27:27)

As I write this, I’m sitting on a rock underneath a full moon in Croatia. It is truly one of the most calming moments of my life. The air has a slight chill, but the sound of the water rolling over the pebbles distracts me from my cold skin. The moon allows just enough light to see the mountains surrounding me. I can see the headlights of cars driving around the mountains. Like small lightning bugs. The light reflections on the water have become one of my favorite sights. The sparkle, the black and white ripples. To my left is a marina.

Today I saw fishermen releasing their massive collection of crabs from their boat’s nets. I’ve seen things like this before, but never in another country by myself. I’m able to witness life without the distractions of conversing with fellow travelers. There is no pressure to entertain, to compromise. It’s just me. Most of the time it’s quiet, which is something that has made me uncomfortable throughout my life. But, here I’m ok with it. I’m ok with being silent and just listening. Just watching. I know these things will occur whether I’m here or not. But, being here for now, even for a short time, allows me to take a small part of this country with me forever.

The clouds have engulfed the moon. There are no more long lines of white alone the water. For me, that means it’s bedtime. Goodnight ocean. Goodnight moon. 

Shades of Grey, Twilight and ben wa balls.

Posted in Uncategorized by

“Shades of Grey.” Visibly more and more women are becoming aware of this book. This phenomenon. The dynamics of this seemingly perfect sexual partnership.

Another literary piece has swept the nation (world?) and penetrated the female psyche altering what she wants from a partner. Twilight appeared out of nowhere creating in women an intense sexual attraction to a fictional species of men. I admit, I fell victim to the craze. If a glittery, pale-faced vampire rescued me in a silver Volvo S60R no amount of self control would keep me from jumping his dusty, cadaverous body. However, Twilight effectively captivated the female reproductive system with the exception of the one small detail that Shades of Grey utilizes: a sadistic, dom/sub relationship fully equipped with nipple clamps and ball gags. What more could a girl ask for?

The fact that Twilight appealed to females on a similar level as Shades of Grey, despite the lack of bondage tools, suggests a change or shift in what women desire from a partner. Or at the very least, what they fantasize about but would never admit to wanting. I, on the other hand, will be the first to admit I would gladly take either of the two antagonists in any form offered.

Christian Grey and Edward Cullen are both intensely possessive and overbearingly controlling. These are not typical characteristics women include in their list of desired attributes from a mate. So why are we mesmerized by these men in the books? Because in the real world men do not display unyielding passion for their women. These books create a parallel universe in which men are obsessed and covetous towards their women in an almost predatory fashion…and women love this. Christian and Edward would gladly throw themselves in front of a train for their female counterparts. They are obviously more interested in the lives of the female love interest than their own, her safety more than his own, her well-being, happiness, satisfaction…They are self-proclaimed presidents of their woman’s fan club. And deep down inside women want a man who will drop everything and come running if she needs. A man who will ravish her in an elevator-Christian Grey style! Or who will sneak into her room at night to watch her sleep-Edward Cullen can get away with this! Yeah, yeah, most people would agree watching someone sleep suggests a creepy quality, but I believe, if you’re honest about it, it would definitely get your heart pounding. Am I right? I thought so….

The men in these books drip with passion and lust, are fixated on their love interests anytime she’s around. (The only complaint I have: the female irreverence toward the power she holds. Both women are constantly caught in an internal battle over why these men fancy them. These men are in love, lust, awe of these women and they simply acquiesce. But, that’s another blog entirely.)

So, back to why we love these guys. Yes, I know they are simply stories. Fictional accounts of fictional characters in fictional relationships. But, this is why we read them. We cannot have the reality we read about. It just doesn’t exist. As much as we would like to find our very own Edward Cullen or Christian Grey, it just will not happen. I have accepted it. It was a huge pill to swallow but I am now completely convinced there just is no Edward Cullen. He isn’t in Texas, in Italy…not even Transylvania. Sobbing ensues….

The truth is, we want to be worshipped like Bella and Anastasia. Women want men to adore them. To ache for them. To be overwhelmed with an unwavering desire to have them at every second of the day. It just feels good to be wanted. But these two men possess a unique and special talent in which they yearn for their ladies. We get a glimpse into their thoughts, their most private internal dialogue…which, even when we ask – cuz we DO ask-we simply cannot get from real life men.

Christian repeatedly says to Ana, “The things I would do to you.” Yes, every woman would die to hear that from her partner. Those seven words are far more powerful than anything a man could ever say about my eyes, smile…blah!

I have this theory. It may be slightly far-fetched. But, I believe every woman is created with a touch of the desire to be a stripper, call girl, playmate, etc. Any setting that places a woman on display to simply be appreciated for her sexual appeal, her physical attributes and nothing more. A very small, maybe large, part of our being really wants to be a sex goddess, a piece of meat for a brief moment just because it feels good. An ego booster. Unless of course I am totally wrong and it’s just me. In which case, I am completely at ease with my confession.

So, given my theory is correct, these male characters entertain the idea that it is possible men might look at us – the non-strippers, the moms, the wives, the preschool teachers- in a completely sexually deviant, animalistic manner. And it is acceptable for that brief moment. When no one is around. While we are lost in our books, living vicariously through Anastasia and Bella…being tortured in Christian’s playroom we become what we secretly want to be.

The reason I mention it is acceptable is because when women admit they want to be viewed in sexual ways, the judgments start flowing like water. That bittersweet stigma of being referred to as slutty takes over and we are forced to come back to down to Earth and live as a proper, “I’m equal to a man” lady. Bittersweet? Oh yeah, I said it. It’s bittersweet because we want to be equal to men, treated the same, get paid the same salary…but we also want to be less than men. We want men to view us as objects they desire. Some of us even want Christian to inflict pain and have his way with us. Treat us as expendable toys they are choosing to play with. Because it feels so good to be chosen…and played with.

Or is it just me?

Do What You Fear

Posted in Uncategorized by

I woke up 1 day and I was 30. Seems like I woke up the next day and I lived in Europe. Looking back on my life I realize I have done the most “growing up” over the past year and a half. Out of 30 years, the previous 18 months have been the most defining.

Almost 6 weeks ago I left the United States. Best decision of my life? I’d say so. Without hesitation.

So far, this experience has shown me my strengths, weaknesses and shoved my fears directly in my face. It is amazing what you do with your fear when you have no other choice but to face it. There was a very tiny part of me that almost did not get on the plane the day I left Texas. 15 seconds of hesitation and paralyzing apprehension almost prevented me from making the best and most important decision of my entire life. The fact that I could have made the choice to stay in Texas gives the saying, “what might’ve been” an entirely new meaning.

It takes 2 hands to count how many fears I have conquered over the past 18 months. It now takes only 1 hand to count how many fears are still present. I am starting to realize that life can be anything you want. Everyone has heard people ask, “What’s the point? What’s the meaning?” If there was only one answer, the questioning would cease. One truth is simple to find in a world full of people. The fact is that that one truth is different for everyone.

If I were to describe the different fears I have conquered, they may be microscopic to one person. But to me they are gargantuan.

Perspective. Relativity. Individuality. These are all very real forces. I think these are what makes each person who they are.

Being in Europe, albeit for a very short time, I have seen history and culture. The things I have read about are now outside my window. The lessons I learned in school and pictures I viewed in textbooks are now tangible realities for me. There is something moving about seeing something in person that you have only read about. I have been humbled by cathedrals, marveled at statues and unexpectedly developed a passion for beer. I mean, this IS Prague!

I look forward to the day when my kids or niece or nephew learn about the holocaust and I can tell them, “I’ve been to Auschwitz.”  (Haven’t been yet, but it’s on the books!)

Art, history and culture have always fascinated me. Even when I did not get to see it first hand I was impressed and intrigued. Lately, I’ve been getting a small sense of what it feels like to be speechless at the architecture of 19th century buildings or awe stricken at the magnitude and grandeur of St. Vitus Cathedral.

My life does not wait for fear to subside. It is up to me to dissolve what holds me back from doing what I desire.

My new mantra, philosophy, religion, whatever you want to call it. THIS is now how I choose to live:

“ I’ve come to believe in something I call “The Physics of the Quest.” A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: If you’re brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you. ” – Elizabeth Gilbert

Faucets and doors and windows…oh my!

Posted in Uncategorized by

A few of my favorite things about my apartment in Europe…